Not Another Fake IPL Blog

Its 2 am in the morning on Friday night. Im not drunk, Im broke, Im not sure if Ill have a job, people say i dont hav a sense of humor and yet I am grinning from ear to ear...

No, I am not on drugs (oops.. did i say the word in Singapore?) and Im not yet another politician who has the fake smile plastered on his face while shoe missiles are being targeted all around him... I have become an IPL fan!

And why not? Everyone from Mr. Durgaprasad Singh, the tea stall owner at Patiala to Sosamma Zachariah the Gelf Aunty who just returned to Chalakudy are glued onto the TV till midnight. Nobody cares if Bollywood has come to a standstill, nobody cares if a billion people have voted, hell nobody cares about Swine Flu or Sri Lanka... the world is a better place with IPL!

Now the question is .. why do I watch it? Who do I support?

The Bongs will always root for Kolkata and crib day in and day out on how SRK has screwed up the team by not putting Dada as captain (despite his reluctance to keep batting once he crosses single digits - methinks he has figured the system out: why play if u are paid anyways?). I feel sorry for the Brand team at Sprite who wouldve thought wat an awesome Idea it wud be to buy SRK from Pepsi.

The Mumbaikars will not care about their team, as long as they trash the Delhi-ites.
Wonder why MNS is not raising an issue about Me Mumbaikar campaign for IPL - remove Jayasurya and Malinga.. they are not from Mumbai! One wonders whats more entertaining.. watching Sachin bat or Madam Ambani chant her prayers during the last overs or try to do a Priety at the dugout.

The Delhi ites wont care about how they perform, as long as they are dressed well and do the Jhattak moves.

Rajastan - well, if you have Shilpa Shetty at the stands, who cares about watching the game?

Punjab - Ah there is a love triangle happening there - Priety? Ness? Yuvraj? ah.. who cares...

Rest of them, I dont even bother mentioning.

So who do I support? There is no Kerala team. I guess the only sport which we have some hope is running (lots of experience for women have after running after their drunkard husbands), swimming (to get to the Gulf Shores) so no scope in cricket.

The only Mallu representative is Mr. "Appam" Sreesanth. The less I mention about him the better. When he gets free time from appearing in dance shows, attending parties, sending smses to random Kannadiga heroines and straightening his hair he finds time to bowl wides, mis field and giving sixes away on a platter. I guess his best role is to be the 12th man.. all he has to do is arrive during the drinks break, insult the opposition and leave...

In a way, the IPL has been good for Indian TV. After watching unbearable naatak by Saas Bahus and Politicians, this is a welcome break - especially after the recession.
IPL gets the Saas Bahus on the field; Auntys watch IPL, Soap and Powder makers blow up money on Zoo Zoos to woo the Auntys ; Auntys fall for Zoo zoos; Auntys woo Uncles to blow up money... and suddenly we dont have a recessionary economy...

And to think that the cause of the recession was just a Saas Bahu...

So at the end of the day, who benefits?

For one, Mr Lalit Modi has become a God for the Media industry and the FMCG/Mobile Service providers. He can make enough money to take UBS out of bankruptcy.

All the cricketers - right from the ones who have stepped out of the crib to the ones stepping into the grave - it doesnt matter how you perform. The money keeps pouring in.

Random Reporters, pitch specialists, grass specialists, ball specialists, wind specialists.. what not.. there is millions to make - as long as you look old, slightly respectable and can talk English - the thought of Lakshman Sivaramakrishnan (he calls himself SRK) making millions sends shivers down my spine..Why didnt my dad pass me a cricket bat instead of a pen when I was a kid?

People of South Africa - especially the "poor kids" who have been told before hand to talk about who is their favorite team and favorite player. Miss Bollywoods who have no clue where India is on the map and the "cheerleaders" who are as clueless as the reporters on the field...

Cricket Team Owners - yeah.. with all those endorsements, even KKR will make money. SRK will dance in a few more marriages, parties (last heard he even passed by Feroz Khan's funeral) to break even.

FMCG companies - They will sell their soap, they will make their money.

So who looses?

Well our dear Aunty and Uncle.. who were happy in their dear little world of Saas Bahu soaps.. and guys like me who are up till 2 am everyday to watch this thing called IPL...

For now Ill watch Swami Prachananda giving away the Man of the Match Award to Brett Lee next to a giggling Priety Zinta.....

The Cricketing Gurus would be turning in their graves...