Happy New Year

Its the beginning of a New Year - not a very happy one at that, economies seem to be getting busted across the board, terrorism is on the rise, companies are being pulled up for scams and Ram GOpal Varma is planning a slate of new releases for the year...

Just like every one else, these have been uncertain times for me. Things are moving on at a pace which is difficult to fathom for me. More than ever, I have been forced to take a step back and look at how I can make some sense out of so much change, create certainty out of uncertainty.

I realized that for me, and I am guessing for a lot of people, almost all uncertainities for the world and hinged around 2 simple emotions, 2 words which are so simple to name, but too complex to explain.

Its called HOPE and FEAR.

Two emotions which keep flip flopping in our minds. Two sides of the same coin. Two ways to look at the future. Two ways to live life.

Religion is built around reducing our fears and bringing in Hope.
Leaders across the world, are symbols for hope.
Every single moment of our lives we look at the future - and there is a mixture of hope and fear in our minds. The level of hope or fear depends on the situation, the personal conviction and support systems like religion, personal philosophy etc.

As I stand at the edge of 2008 and look at the deep precipice of 2009 in front of me, my mind is filled with hopes and fears.
I stand at the edge - not sure of what to do.
I take a deep breath and close my eyes.

I remember my child hood - early memories, growing up, people, places, lessons, experiences - it passes through me in a flash - like a kaleidoscope of random memories - showing me everything, and nothing at the same time. I desperately try to look for a meaning in the images, try to make sense out of the images that flash past in their multiple colors, emotions and textures.

I dont make too much sense of it, but I do realize that every moment of my life has been a step into the darkness. A leap into a precipice, a moment of complete exhilaration and raw fear at the same time. Life is like that - a leap into the darkness every moment of our lives.

I realize that instead of fearing the darkness, I will have to embrace it. The future is unknown, is uncertain and unclear. Its my life and I have to make the leap. And I know I will make the leap well if I remain true to myself. If I follow my conscience and do what I think is right for me, I believe I will make the leap.

I realize that hope and fear are merely 2 opposing emotions of the a single element. And the element is the truth. If I follow my truth - the truth will set me free. Free from Hope and Fear and lead me to living my life as I deem right.

I open my eyes. I see the darkness in front of me. But it doesnt look so frightening anymore. I know who I am. I know what I want. I know the truth. And the truth will set me free.

I leap into the darkness....


~"I hope for nothing. I fear nothing. I am free" - Nikos Kazantzakis